Natalie Luengas

“I am not given fear, but power, love, and a sound mind” – 2 Timothy 1:7

I remember I was curled up in a corner of a psychiatric unit room, crying as I was praying for the emotional pain to stop. I felt confused, hopeless, lost, but most of all, I felt fear. After crying while praying, I saw that reality is painful, but what you do with the pain determines whether your heart heals from it. I then decided to commit to recovery not partially, but 100%. I decided to dedicate my time and persevere through the emotional pain from repeated trauma, negative thoughts, and unstable emotions that were hijacking my life. I didn’t want to live the life of projecting my emotional pain to others anymore. I didn’t want to sabotage my life anymore. I wanted so many other things in my life: freedom, confidence, self-control… and most of all, peace! I heard stories that people have been through so many struggles and pushed through to a healthy life. I knew it was possible, but I didn’t know how or when it would happen in my life. I was starting to loose my patience in my recovery.

Months later, I started DBT treatment and to build a strong support system, along with Christian ministry. I learned the therapeutic skills that are necessary for emotional regulation and tolerating distress. I learned how to cope with my emotional pain effectively and heal from it little by little. Psychiatric medications also helped as it made it easier for me to have enough energy and consistency in my recovery. Along the way, people thought I was not able to be consistent in my recovery though. They saw so much pain I was in and how it afflicted on other people. Years passed by and they started to realize that the emotional pain I was in was building something beautiful. Peace.

This year will be my 7th year of fully committing to recovery. I am currently a full-time Certified Recovery Peer Specialist and volunteer in the community to spread mental health awareness and help others in mental health and/or substance use recovery. I also am studying to complete my Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology.

The work and pain is worth it. Keep pushing through. We are not given fear, but love, power to go through the trails in our life, and have a sound mind in the present moment. Recovery is so precious, even through the painful moments.